ROCK STAR BABY

I don't know what to say. I have no apologizes about the hair. I am officially an aunt today.

" I'm your lover, I'm your zero."

Tita syndrome

I talked to Kuya today. He was tense. He actually woke me up from the best sleep in along time of bad sleep and sleeplessness. I love him allot. I just really realized this through hazy eyes and sleepy fingers.

"Sara will be induced tomorrow."
" ...like inducted?" I said "What?" This brought back memories of the X-files and Ian's mad scientist tendencies.
"Uh, CHRIS. They are going to induce labor tomorrow."
"Oh, FUCK" I said. "I am going to be a TITA like for real, like no joke, like you're going to be a PAPA and Sara's going to be a Momma. DO YOU NEED ANYTHING?"
"WELL, you can tell Ross something for me" he said
"K, this better not be too techy or whatever."
"It's fine, just write this down."
I wrote this down and Now there's a note sitting by ROSS' computer b/c that's the only place he'll look, for sure.
The note reads:

Ross,
Ian wants you to take his Shaman and his warlock and empty mailbox.
Put all the stuff in the bank.
<3 ate

In other news...
I reread the "The Unbearable Lightness of Being."
And, This is about love:
We all reject out of hand the idea that the love of our life maybe something light or weightless; we presume our love is what must be, that without it our life would no longer be the same; we feel that Beethoven himself, gloomy and awe-inspiring, is playing the "Es Muss sein!" to our great love.
What a great love.
Remember, the way it sounds. It's danceable, memorable.
NOW, LISTEN
"May we never be stripped of anything we love. May we grow so gentle; never go mental."

"Forecast Fascist Future"
- Of Montreal-

begin this way?

On riots:

1. They wanted to get rid of corruption; he wanted to get rid of me. Neither provided easy solutions. The "getting rid" of corruption would require an overhaul of the government. The "getting rid" of me would require a complete overhaul of something else.

2. ... because these rain droplets fall from the clouds like tears. They form out of heaviness. They collide. They break apart. You wonder if anyone else thinks about the beauty of raindrops.

3. thousands line the streets in distinct colors, distinct shapes.

4. The city clamoured in anger. She was in pursuit of silence or peace. This is what she said to you. She speaks in hushed tones.
"Shh," she says "Don't you get it? it hasn't happened yet."
"I know," you say in more than an honest whispher. " I keep waiting for this."
THIS-- but, you don't know in fact you have no idea that in a few minuts a riot will break out.

clouds in dreams

I had a dream last night (or this morning, depending on who you ask,etc.)
I was sitting on a cloud.

my girl:
Thomas J. Sennett: What do you think it's like?
Vada Sultenfuss: What?
Thomas J. Sennett: Heaven.
Vada Sultenfuss: I think... everybody gets their own white horse and all they do is ride them and eat marshmallows all day. And everybody's best friends with everybody else. When you play sports, there's no teams, so nobody gets picked last.
Thomas J. Sennett: But what if you're afraid to ride horses?
Vada Sultenfuss: Doesn't matter 'cause they're not regular horses. They've got wings. And it's no big deal if you fall 'cause you'll just land in a cloud.

oh, the cure:
Spinning on that dizzy edgeI kissed her face and kissed her headAnd dreamed of all the different ways I hadTo make her glow"Why are you so far away?" she said"Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you?That I'm in love with you?"

You Soft and onlyYou Lost and lonely You Strange as angels Dancing in the deepest oceans Twisting in the water You're just like a dream...


You Soft and only
You Lost and lonely
You Just like heaven.

black and white

a birdcage without a bird

I came up with a new band name. Now, I just need a band. Anyone interested?
I can play the cowbell!

In other news, I am up way too early. Considering my current situation, I am going for a swim.

Everyone's talking about ruling the world. But, Honestly, I just want to live in it.
Live in it with me?

New opening: Manila speaks to me like she always has and comes through in fragments over the ocean...
wait, I don't like this one.

I am going to look at pictures of the writing on walls.

not if you were the last junkie on earth

i feel like Paranoid like the song by GARBAGE but I am a little less hip than Shirley Bend me
Break me Anyway you need me As long as I want you baby it's all right.
"get this!" I would like to be a little less crazy but maybe it's just lack of sleep what a waste of time: SLEEP
"i only sleep to dream" "i can hear you singing to me in my sleep" "And now I tell you openly, you have my heart so don't hurt me.You're what I couldn't find.
A totally amazing mind, so understanding and so kind;
You're everything to me.

Oh, my life,
Is changing every day,
In every possible way.

And oh, my dreams,
It's never quite as it seems,
'Cause you're a dream to me,
Dream to me."

Age of Empires III, nap = me all day today. DEAL, man.